The girl

My favorite daughter. My oldest and the most beautiful girl in the world.

I never wanted to be a mother and I had big plans for myself to get out of my hometown. After I graduated I was gong into the Navy to get out and away from all that I knew. Those plans changed, I had to go to summer school because I very much disliked history. Just before graduation I found out I was pregnant. Shit, shit, shit. I didn't want to be a failure, I didn't want to be a mother, I hadn't even graduated yet. I knew one thing that I had to keep it, I don't believe in abortion because I made a mistake. Now what the hell am I going to do? I can't tell my mother, grandmother, or anyone. I told my recruiter and they told me I was out before I was fully in, told my sister older (that was hard). A week went by and my sister tells me she's pregnant too! What the what?!?! Oh man I thought my mom was gonna flip, she sure was gonna now when she finds out 2 grand children were on the way at the same time. Well I told my mother without looking at her, her response is your problem, your responsibility, and I am not babysitting. Phew.

As time went on I got bigger and bigger to the point I felt like a house. I couldn't eat meat (made me ill), loved pickles, and strawberry cheesecake. I can't eat cheesecake and only 1 pickle once in a while, makes me sick to think of them. Got my permit and road test all in one month. The road test was fun because it was my due date and I was HUGE and having contractions, still passed!! I was due March 10th.Yup I was over due by 11 days!. I was at my doctors appointment on day 10 and they sent me to the hospital as I was officially in labor. I was stuck at 7 cm and wasn't going anywhere.
See in NY there were no epidurals at the time, you got this shot called the intrathecal which was a one time shot so once it wore off you didn't get anymore. So they gave me it to help me sleep after being in labor for 7 hours stuck. 3 am rolls around and I start throwing up, crying, throwing up. I guess it was time. They told me it was time to push. I have never experienced pain like this EVER! The shot was gone and Boy was I in pain. I begged for a C-Section but they refused me. 1 1/2 hours of pushing and she was in distress, they cut me open and pulled her out. I was scared, she wasn't crying, doctors are rushing into the room, and no one will tell me what is going on. Finally she cries! Phew glad that was over. Alexis weighed 7lbs 11oz 20 1/4 inches long
She was the easiest baby. Her first night she slept through the night as well did I.

1 month old she gets sick with the Rotovirus and ends up in the hospital. I watched as they gave her x-rays to make sure it was in her lungs. I cried. Here she is being put on this bicycle seat with some plastic contraption around her chest forcing her arms up and there was nothing I could do. Then came the spinal tap, I had to leave the room as I was hysterical. She was admitted and was quarantined from everyone else. When they would check her temp she would shoot fecal matter across the room, the nurses and doctors had to come in with full protective gear. She spend 5 days there.

Her and my niece who was born 4 days before spent a lot of time together. It was like having twins because when they were in their walkers they would get into everything.

Now she is soon to be 12. She is a fun little girl. She can make anyone laugh and has an infectious smile. Everyday she makes me very proud of her.

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