Do you have Faith?

I was recently asked if I believe in God

This is something I battle with often. My mother would try to shove religion down my throat for as long as I can remember which in turn shoved me away from religion. She would force me to go to mass and even would force me to watch mass on television. I hated it. I am an adhd kid who can not sit still and listen to someone talk for hours on end.

I don't know if I believe or don't believe in God. I don't go to church nor do I pray. I don't know if I believe in one person who created everything in a short period of time. I believe in evolution.

I am a very strong believer in Faith and Karma. I am more Buddhist than I believe in any other religion. I find when I have Faith and believe in Faith everything works out. I believe Everything Happens For A Reason and I can't control the outcomes. With that said I still stress over things that are out of my control.

When I feel the need to seek guidance I look to my Aunt and Cousins when I am in need because they were a physical form that I believe in. When I am in need of guidance I ask for help and odd as it may sound after I have asked for guidance the problem usually works out. Do I believe it is a coincidence? Maybe but it doesn't matter.

I have Karma and Faith tattooed on my forefingers to remind me when I am lost to not forget. I tend to forget sometimes. When I am lost and can't seem to find my way back I need a reminder that things will happen the way they are suppose to happen when it is suppose to happen.

Even thought I don't believe in any other religion I still partake in Lent, I like participating in Lent because it helps me to stay focused on things and change my way of thinking. I do wish sometimes it would happen more than just once a year. I know very contradicting but however it is what I believe in and I wouldn't tell anyone else what they believe in is wrong.

I believe in many things that religions deem against their religion. What type of religion should tell what every person should believe in and if they don't they are damned to hell? That is the problem in today's society. People want to believe and do things the way they want and society doesn't want that. Society and Religion want you to behave how they want you to, to keep you in check without making a ripple, and when you do make a ripple you are looked down on, disowned, and made a fool of. I don't believe in that, I believe everyone should believe in whatever they choose and do whatever they choose without fear of becoming an outcast.

My most recent problem is I need to focus on me and not everyone else. I put too much time into disapproving of other's life choices and take on the burden of watching it fall apart. I can't judge other peoples life choices because I don't approve of the way they are doing things. That isn't very Buddhist of me, I know. That is why I need to focus more on me and not other peoples lives. One thing Jeremiah and I realized is we both share the sense of strong friendships. Everyone of our friends can say that no matter what we are always there for them, whether it be for the need of just someones presence, emotional need, or a financial help. We will do whatever to help someone else out and we know the friends we have will do and have done the same for us regardless the distance between us.

I hit a very rough spot last week and my fiends were there for me emotionally and just for presence alone helped me through my struggle. One thing I live about several of my friends is when I am 100% in the wrong they have no fear in telling me. I have one who tells me to stop being a Diva. I have another who will have me come over for chili or just for a glass of wine. I have friends who make sure when I am down will take me out to eat just to get my mind off things. I have the friends who support me in every decision I make. Then I have the friend who want to always take me out for a congratulatory drink on my success. I <3 my friends, I would be lost without them! :) <3 <3

~Happy Reading~