Oh you know the New Year New Beginning thing

It has been a while since my last blog. I miss being able to write down my thoughts. So much has happened in the past year. I am closer to finishing my Master's Degree. I am not allowing people to attempt to run my life any longer. I am going back to the person I enjoyed most. The person who followed the motto Everything Happens For A Reason. All the crap that has happened in the pass 6 months with my car had me stressed out of my mind to the point I was in constant argument with my husband over a.....car. Stress is the root of all evil.

Happy New Year!!!

As we embark on the New Year beginnings I begin to wonder why do we celebrate New Year and have this need to get completely obliterated by the nights end?
Why do we "make" New Years resolutions only to never stick to that promise of change year after year?
We all know those who say "oh this is my year," "my resolution is going to the gym," "I am going to start eating healthy" just to never follow through. There are those who go to the gym religiously only to find as the New Year approaches the fitness gym is overflowed with these "new comers" which make their gym routines stressful.
I haven't made a New Years resolution in a long time because I know if I make this grand promise to myself only knowing after a month I will have broken my promise to myself. Each year begins and my hope is for my family and friends to be healthy.
This year is no different than the last. Life will have its ups and downs. If you chose to change yourself you can't make an excuse as it must be for New Years.
You want to change you must want to change that day. NO EXCUSES.
One thing I am guilty of is I start on my quest to a new me  only to fail 3 week later. I have been successful in eating healthier and getting my fitness on track. I realized why I fail often is because I take on too much, make excuses, and eat excessively. I know what I need to do to get back on track and I am going to do it. Not because its New Years but because I want to be healthy. I want to be fit.

I want to be Happy. I am going to be Happy. I will be Happy and no one is going to rain on my parade. I am the only one who can change myself for the better. I am the only one who can control my actions. I am a Spartan! Hear me roar!!!

Faith in everything

I know when I am stressed out I have lost my Faith

Things were very stressful for me for the past few months. I started a new job the next day my job at the school ended, and I started a business. My new job is my stepping stone to get to where I want to be so I can have a career and be able to pay for my children's college when the time comes. Things got a little out of hand with school and the new job. I was covering someone else's hours as well as mine and missed an assignment and normally I would stress it and allow it to ruin my day but there was nothing I could do about it as it was over with. All I could do was make up the work.

We were faced with a decision recently and we tried to jump on it but I don't think Faith wants us to follow through with the decision. It made us depressed because it was what we had been longing for but it wasn't panning out. We know when the time is right everything works in our favors.

The new business is something I had wanted to do but allowed fear to lead me away from it. I decided a few months ago to make a decision to begin my business. The first month was a little hairy but it all worked out and it is successful at the moment. Then as the next month begins I am getting stressed that it isn't going to pan out.....and you know what I am okay with that because I need to make sure I allow Faith to lead my life and not my life lead faith. Recently a friend of mine posted something to my Facebook wall and it was inspiring and made me realize I had yet again allowed my life to lead faith and that is why I have been stressed.

Watch this link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJD5-R_HPCc



The info to my new business is I am now a fitness motivator......soon to be a certified instructor.....however in the meantime I run free online fitness challenges with an incentive to win.
If interested in learning more sent me a message or follow me on any one of the social medias

let me know if you've seen my lost mind

As always life is a bit hectic and there are times where I feel like I have lost all control and I am drowning in the chaos.

Here is an update

Finished my internship with the Federal Probation
Stated playing softball
Started a new job
Became a Beachbody Coach

Each time I say I won't take on anymore I add another onto my plate. School is killing me. I haven't been able to do anything, I don't hang out with friends, I hardly have any time with my family, and I have no time for myself. My days off are spent doing homework the entire time.

This is how bad it is
I forgot my husbands birthday.

.....well almost.....I was reminded by him 2 days before his birthday. I had planned nothing and bought him nothing.........I know I am a crappy wife lol.

Hey easy with the comments, I rectified it by having a small bbq with our friends...and Logan finally was able to see his baseball teammates. Logan tried to convince the boys that they want to spend the night and not go home....seriously lol

Each day I come home and say what have I gotten myself into.......oh I forgot the most important part. I haven't rode my bike for sheer enjoyment in.....shoot...... about 2 months......that's serious stuff hahaha

What keeps me going is in the end I know all this craziness will all be worth it in the end.


~Happy Reading~

Everyone has that one type of friend

I love all of my friends that are in my life

One particular person in my life has been there for me for the past 6 years

I would call on her and talk to her about any argument I have with the hubby

And would you know she has never and I mean never taken my side on the arguments

She always tells me I am in the wrong and why I am in the wrong

And once I look back on the argument I find I am in the wrong 95% of the time

Our relationship is sort of funny because the way we connected was because I ruined and I mean ruined my hair and when I walked into work she demand I came to her house because she needed to fix it

It took over a year to fix the mess I called hair

Most people go to their hair stylist and tell them what they want and the stylist does as the client wants......not mine......mine tells me flat out no and does something else that I love more than my ideas

There have been times where I have convinced her to chop my hair and as soon as it happens no sooner do I leave I inform her to never....never...let me do that again

She protects my hair from myself


Happy Birthday to my therapist, financial advisor, hair stylist, relationship counselor, and one very very dear friend of mine

A little bit of change each day is okay

Life is full of obstacles and either you can choose to hurdle or you can stand there

I choose to hurdle as much as I need to get to where I want to be and once I am there I will continue to make new goals

There are many times when I just feel like stopping and not wanting to do any more hurdles because I feel like I have done enough however after reading this book called the Sight Edge I am learning I will never stop jumping the hoops because I will never be satisfied until I have completed my goals

I thought that once I would get to my career I would be done but then I realized I have life goals and I know each goal I make there will be challenges

I always thought I wasn't never the competitive type yet in reality the competition is myself and life

I know I am not at my goal weight and I know my poor diet choices are getting in the way however I have learned.....again thanks to the Slight Edge.......it is okay for those slip ups I just need to work twice as hard and not beat myself up

Lately I have been getting frustrated because I am writing more papers than I ever have in my undergrad but I can't continue to bitch about it I have to accept the challenge and push through while maintaining my goals

I am learning that I can't continue to allow others to defeat our purpose or bog us down with their problems anymore

Jeremiah and I can't continue to take everyone else's problems and try to fix it for them....

Our problems have never been just fixed by other people because when we are in trouble we fix the issue ourselves and sorry to say but other people need to grow up and accept their life challenge and handle it on their own without the help from us

Yes I have screwed up many times in my life and I have owned up to it
I am not perfect......far from it
I screw up my finances from time to time and yes Jeremiah has to bail me out however we are husband and wife and when we have money troubles we handle them we don't go running to someone else to bail us out
I know recently I have taken on more than I can chew but in the end I know it will work itself out

For the past week I have had a sinus thing going on which kept me from working out daily and at first I was beating myself up for it and thought if I just pushed through the infection I would be alright however one day when I tried I became lightheaded and felt so weak and that was when I realized I can't just push through there are just some illnesses that require rest and I have learned from the Slight Edge it is okay to accept change


At the end of the day I can lay down knowing I have done everything in my power for the day

Fed up

I can only take being pushed away for so long. I know people deal with things differently than others however being avoided can only be taken for so long. I know when I am down I don't ignore my friends who reach out to see if I am okay.

I don't get how people can have a life changing event happen in their life and tell me long after the fact and then wonder why I get pissed off.

I'm sick of feeling guilty when I can't see family, yet no one goes out of their way to come see me. I've lived in CT for 12 years and very few family members came to our wedding let alone come visit but they have no problem driving past to go to neighboring states.

I hate not having family around when I need them, I hate being the last person to be informed of things or having to find out things through Facebook, I hate that the only way I talk to them is if I take the initiative to contact them. Fuck I have a busy life and yet I have no problem when someone messages me I message back.

It is getting to the point where I don't want to try anymore. It is evident that if I don't try then there is no communication. Why do I always have to feel guilty when I say I am fed up and I am not going to waste my time when they won't take the time to go out of their way to contact me?

I haven't spoken to my mother in 3 years. No by my doing. I have tried to reach out and connect with her but she refuses to speak to me. Yet I still feel a certain way when it isn't my doing.  How can a mother refuse to speak to her children? The answer is always it is the children's fault because they have done this or that to her, yet never what has been done. The reason we aren't talking is over something so freaking stupid, and yet I can't share anything that has happened in the past 3 years with the person who raised me. Graduating, getting married, kids



I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Stand up and fight against bullying

I was requested to write a blog about my recent tattoo.

Everyone knows I love my tattoos and I am very proud of the ones I have regardless that some are messed up, it's the price you pay, one day the artist is on their game and the next they aren't. The one thing that always happen to me when getting ready to be tattooed is my anxiety skyrockets through the roof. I have yet to determine if it is anxiety or excitement. Both seem to be the same lol.

So this tattoo that I got was the My Little Pony in support of Michael Morones. Michael is an 11 year old boy who was bullied over brining in a My Little Pony to school. After being bullied he tried to commit suicide but was found and is now in recovery. I found out about this fundraiser through my friend. What better way to fund raise? I donate money and get a tattoo of my choice of a My Little Pony.

I have never jumped on the hottest tattoo of the week bandwagon but this I had to jump on. It is for a good cause and of coarse I couldn't pass up this opportunity to pay it forward. Honestly I would feel guilty for not joining in on the cause, to me that would be Karma for not attempting.

This cause and any other type of cause against bullying hits very close to home for me. I was (what was called in my day being picked on) teased for having hairy arms when I was in 6th grade which resulted in me shaving my arms daily (even to this day), I would get teased for always wearing jeans and t-shirts to school (this was something I couldn't change because I wasn't comfortable in dresses or getting dressed up), I was teased for always wearing my hair down but not done up (so I just always put in a pony-tail, which is the way my hair usually is during the summer). My nephew is gay and was tormented in school until he stuck up for himself but one of his friends wasn't so luck. I have known a few people who took their life because of their sexuality.

I am a type of person who is accepting of everyone regardless if they're orange, black, purple, or green, whether they like men or women, and whether they are rich or poor. I have experienced all walks of life and I have heard many stories of other's troubles. I didn't come from a wealthily family, I wasn't given a car, I wasn't supported in anything growing up, when I hit high school it went all down hill for me. I thought I was the shit and would purposely get myself into situations that I had no business in. I had seen people getting picked on and I would stick up for them, when my friends had problems with another person I would make it my business, and when things were done against me I didn't care if you were a male of female I stuck up for myself. Not everyone can be like that. Everyday people are put in situations and they don't know how to handle it. If a kid is being bullied what should they do? Everyone's answer is tell someone except it isn't that simple. Now here is where you will argue oh yes it is, tell the parents, tell the principle, tell someone will stop it. No, no it doesn't and no it won't. In many cases it only makes it worse. There are so many stories where the 8,9,14,16 year olds tell and all it does is add more fuel to the fire and cause more people to get involved in the torment. Many people are far too ignorant to see what is happening. Social media helps the culprits succeed in their torment. The schools not implementing a ZERO BULLYING TOLERANCE RULE to nip it in the butt without causing more harm.

If you have a child who has experienced being bullied you know what I am talking about. The child comes to you, you go to the school, the school brings in your child and questions them, the school bring in the bully and tells them that such and such told on you, the bully gets a warning, and the bully may let it cool for a little while yet meanwhile are plotting their next revenge, the bully gets others to join in, they go on social media to continue the torment, and when your child can't take it anymore they start saying they don't want to go to school and they spiral down into depression, all their friends distance themselves so they aren't a target, next thing you know your child is left alone with no support telling the parents you don't understand, and in the end they take their life. Your's may not go to that level but there are more and more and getting younger and younger who feel this is their last resort.

My daughter at one point was one of those kids who was bullied. She is a smart loving young girl who believes everyone is her friend and wants to be everyone's friend. Well that turned on her quick and she was being humiliated in front of her peers and her supposed friends were in on it. It was minor things but this is a young girl who is very emotional and it is easy to hurt her feelings. As a mother I was pissed, I called the school and spoke with the principle and let them know how unhappy I was that this was going on. In the end nothing was done but nothing more was done to her. However most kids are not as lucky and I know we will be in this position again in the future. No matter how many times I tell her to stick up for herself she has just begun letting her friends know how she is feeling when they do something to her. We discuss it most of the time before she goes off. We discuss the situation and ask her if what she felt was what she felt or is she just mad about something else. For instance she told a friend that she wasn't their friend anymore, no real reason except she was sick of them lying all the time about stupid things, she took it upon herself to handle it but when we found out how she went about doing it we told her she was in the wrong and she needed to apologize.

Logan found himself in a situation where he was called gay and told the kid to fuck off. You bet I got a call from the principle about it. I knew Logan was having problems on the bus with this kid but it wasn't an every day thing. I informed the principle of what had been going on and he pulled both kids in the office and told them if they continued they would be reprimanded and that was the end of it for the rest of the year. Again not everyone is lucking with it ending.

Michael Morones was an unfortunate victim to bullying over My Little Pony. At the age of 11 he tried to take his own life and has ended up with brain damage and in the hospital. Again not many kids are fortunate enough to be found before it was too late. In tribute to the fight against bullying I joined the fight and got my Pony. #standupandfightagainstbullying

http://www.michaelmorones.org

https://www.facebook.com/TeamMichaelMorones