Sunday, March 17, 2013

All giddy like a fat kid in a candy store

It seems like things that are happening are another way of Faith showing how things are meant to be.

When I tell my story many people are amazed by the things I have been through and one of those things is how my younger sister found me through Facebook. 

I was raised by my mother with my older sister and older brother, never knew my father or that I had one for that matter. My older sister was the one to always be there for me when things went wrong with my mom. I moved out when I was 16....honestly to this day I am not sure if it was because I could or because my older siblings did it. Either way doesn't matter. When I found out that in order to become my own guardian I needed to be emancipated from my mother. I went to the Social Services building to find out how to do that and they left my file out on the table and went into another room. I noticed that it had my father's name and address on it. I was shocked that they would leave it there like that, so I quickly wrote the address down and left the building finding out that I couldn't do what I wanted to anyways. I still didn't return to my mothers but it didn't deter our relationship in fact in some ways it made it better. 

What do I do now that I have his address? Try to write a letter several times over until I finally had the courage to send it. Now to sit and wait.....

The letter I got in return was not what I expected. The first letter was from my grandmother (his mother) telling me that he no longer lived there, was married, and had 2 children. Huh. Never gave it a single though of the possibilities that I would have other siblings. Then comes the letter from my little 13 year old sister and several phone conversations. Until a few months later when I get a note from her mother requesting that I stop speaking with her and a letter from my father and that was the end of it all. I couldn't blame anyone nor could I be mad at anyone. I mean he had made another life for himself. Of coarse I was hurt and sometimes felt alone but I understood but hoped one day things would change......and it did.

3 Years ago this June will mark the first day of that change.

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful June day and Jeremiah and I are watching a movie together and I receive a Facebook message wondering if I am the lost sister that she use to talk to and write letters to and explained who she was and how she was married with1 1/2 children. In a instance everything changed from just one message. I stopped the movie and called her. I always hoped this would happen. We talked and laughed at everything that has happened in those past 11 years. 

Then came the first meeting in PA July 17th 2010

We had several phone conversations over this very short period of time but when it came to that day of meeting them for the first time at her baby shower was a completely different story. I went alone to meet them. I didn't know what to expect but what happened is nothing of what I expected. They both hugged me and welcomed me as if they have known me this entire time lol. 

Jill and I took a DNA test. I guess we will know for sure if we really were siblings. 

6 long weeks went by 
Jill and I still talked just about every day but I was growing more and more concerned about the what if it came back negative, then what was I going to do..............

Then it comes..........I sat waiting to open it.........I call Jill and then open the contents in the envelope......

83.3% chance that Jillian and Aislynn are half biological siblings........ WAIT HOLD UP LET ME READ THIS AGAIN........reread it again....and again....... and her response was "See told you."

So we are siblings.....he really is my dad.......what's next?

She says call him.....this never occurred to me..... 

What would I say? How is he going to react? What happens if he wants nothing to do with me? Could I handle that type of rejection?

Ah what do I have to lose right? He could accept me like they did or he could reject me and it would continue on as it had for 29 years.

I call him and it was again nothing like I expected. We talked for over an hour telling each other about our lives and have been ever since. 

Might be wondering why I am giddy...
Well as many know Jeremiah and I are getting married so we sent out several save the dates and I sent one to my dad. I didn't expect anything from it as I know how tough it is these days but I just wanted him to know that I was thinking of him. Well I texted him last night to see if he returned from his trip safely and he had. Now a few of the save the date's didn't make it to their destination so I asked if he had checked his mail recently and he said he will be coming to the wedding. My heart stops...

Oh snap did I read this right? I mean we haven't met. I hope he doesn't feel obligated to come. He says he's coming HOLY SHIT!! My Dad is going to be at the wedding (insert jump with fist pump) WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

WOW I am filled with excitement. I have to give thanks to Faith for allowing me to have this opportunity that I have only dreamt about. I only wish that both of my parents could be there but my mother's health conditions prohibit her from traveling. 

I can't wait to be surrounded by my Family and Friends and marrying my One True Love with both of my children by our sides.

~Peace Out~

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