Thursday, December 13, 2012


This roller coaster life is not always fun.

It seems that I am down more than Jeremiah is.
When I am down everyone is down with me. I don't mean to do it nor take it out on anyone but it seems to happen.  Think it is depression or my mood disorder kicking in. I once seen a therapist because I was going through so much stuff and no one could relate to my issues. So they figured out why every 5 years shit falls apart however I couldn't remember what happened when I was 5 in order to figure out the under lining cause.
It made since as to why I couldn't make it passed the 5 year mark with my kids dads. However I seemed to make it to 6 years with Jeremiah. I know it seems odd but every 5 years something ridiculous happens. This year the incident that happened was my job shut down so that marked the 5-year curse. I am so very grateful that I have Jeremiah and the kids by my side with a roof over our heads

What makes us perfect together is that when I am down he is always there telling me to keep positive. When he is down I am there to keep him positive.
6 years and still going strong!

So since my life has been a consistent roller coaster I have decided to go to a Buddhist Temple. I am not religious but I am a strong believer in Karma & Faith. So it seemed fitting to get Karma & Faith tattooed last year on my index fingers as a reminder. Many find it odd that my 13th tattoo was Karma but I am not superstitious so the number 13 has no relevance.

When I am stressed I forget to keep Faith that it will all work out. You would think that I would realize that by now but it is my nature to stress out about everything.

I am looking forward to visiting the temple. I just need to find peace within myself and remind myself that I need to focus on myself.
I am anxious, as I don't know what to expect. I don't expect to be treated different, on the contrary I expect to be welcomed with open arms.

I am hoping that this is exactly what I need to  find peace within myself.

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